More than English: Learning empathy and choice in the first weeks of class

By Anna Lavrinovich

The first English classes of the year for our ninth- and tenth-grade students were about much more than vocabulary, grammar, and communication. Without presenting it as a formal study of psychology, the lessons were thoughtfully connected to ideas from William Glasser’s Choice Theory and Reality Therapy, inviting students to reflect on how they relate to themselves and to others.

One of the central ideas introduced was a simple but powerful question: “What can I control?” Students explored the difference between trying to control other people and recognizing what is actually within their own control—particularly their thoughts, feelings, actions, and responses.

This idea was also reflected in the language students were encouraged to use. Instead of expressions such as “You made me…,” “You always…,” or “I have to…,” they practiced phrases such as “I chose to…,” “I can…,” and “I want to….” The goal was not simply to change the way students speak, but to help them recognize their own responsibility and choices.

Empathy and empathic listening were another important part of the experience. Students discussed the difference between listening to understand someone and immediately trying to “fix” their problems. The message was clear: don’t fix the person; understand the person, and then choose your response. Through discussion and reflection, students considered how attentive listening can strengthen relationships, reduce misunderstandings, and prevent conflicts from escalating.

The lessons were also highly interactive. Students worked in groups to create class agreements, discussed real-life conflicts in circle meetings, reflected on empathy versus sympathy, and even created short social-media-style scripts using expressions such as “I can choose to…” and “I can’t control…, but I can….”

Most importantly, the students responded very positively. They engaged with the questions, shared personal reflections, and showed that these ideas could connect naturally to situations in their everyday lives. What began as an English lesson became an opportunity to practice communication, self-awareness, empathy, and responsibility.

Perhaps that is the most meaningful lesson from these first weeks: learning a language is also learning how to communicate with people—and learning to listen, understand, and choose our responses can make that communication much more meaningful.